10 Winning Wife tips: How to keep yourself HOT in your marriage
There’s a video I saw circulating on Facebook a while back, it showed the before and after of marriage. The before showed a young woman wearing short shorts, a tight spaghetti top and a lavish hairstyle while she was washing dishes and dancing in her boyfriend’s kitchen. The video then cuts to show after getting married and the young woman is now wearing what looks like a nightgown, slippers and has African threading in her hair, you can also see she’s not wearing a bra.
Sadly, this is the reality of marriage. When we get married, we seem to think we can now relax and let ourselves go, we think the battle is over and we simply stop trying. Whereas before, you would jump for your lace wig to hide your African threading if your partner was coming over.
I know that marriage is hard and after a while you realise that love alone is not enough to keep you and your spouse together. But just because you’re married, doesn’t mean you stop taking care of yourself to attract your spouse like you used to, it doesn’t mean you should stop being the woman or man your spouse fell in love with however long ago.
I know this is easier said than done because the longer you’re married, the harder everything gets, especially when kids get involved. However, there are little tips and tricks you can do to be that sexy, attractive, beautiful, awesome woman (or man) that made your spouse want you by their side forever:
Tip 1: Shower Every Single Day
This may seem obvious to some women but I’m mentioning it because there are some people out there who don’t feel the need to shower every day. It may seem especially pointless if you’re living in cold climates where there is very little chance of sweating.
HOWEVER showering or bathing every day is important not just for cleanliness but it helps your skin stay hydrated and moisturised. It forces you to apply lotion every single day which reduces ashy skin and if like me, you use a stretch mark remedy, that daily scrubbing off dead skin cells will gradually reduce the appearance of stretch marks and scars.
If you diligently stick to showering and moisturising every single day then you will start to notice that your skin is always smooth, soft, bouncy and glowing which are some of the characteristics of younger looking skin. Also, if your husband suddenly wants to have some fun, you’re confident in your personal hygiene!
Tip 2: Implement a skincare routine
On top of showering every day, implement a really great skincare regimen. I have stretch marks and scars all over my body and my face is also prone to acne and breakouts. So if you’re like me then you want to have a very strong skincare routine in place to reduce the appearance of stretch marks, battle acne and dark spots. For example,
- I moisturise daily with a water-based moisturiser
- I exfoliate my entire body and face twice a week with a coffee and sugar scrub
- Wear a face mask twice a week
- Wash, cleanse and tone my face in the morning and at night before bed
Tip 3: Apply 1 drop of lavender essential oil in between your thighs
Apply a small amount of lavender essential oil between your thighs after your morning and evening shower. This will leave you smelling like a snack for your husband.
Essential oils are very strong, rub 1 or 2 drop between your thighs and it will settle into your skin and last all day. Lavender oil is perfectly safe for your feminine hygiene however I would NOT recommend applying it directly to your vagina
Tip 4: Grow your natural eyelashes
Nowadays the world is all about fake breasts, fake bums, fake nails and fake eyelashes. You’re even encouraged to shave off your natural eyebrows and tattoo on fake ones!
Well in our house we strive to teach our children to embrace and celebrate their natural beauty, especially our daughter. One small way I teach her is by growing my natural eyelashes and thus negating the need for fake eyelashes.
To do this, I get a clean q-tip or spoolie and use it to apply a small amount of castor oil or coconut oil to my top eyelashes every night before bed. Do this every single night and your eyelashes will grow like crazy!
Tip 5: Exercise 10 minutes everyday OR 30 minutes 3 times a week
Nobody likes an overweight spouse, especially in this day and age where fearless homewreckers are walking around in crop tops and hot-pants while your body is still in shock from growing and pushing out an entire human being not so long ago.
There are plenty of home workouts on YouTube that don’t require any equipment. Some are targeted towards helping new mums adjust to their body and safely reduce the baby weight while others are for people just trying to tone up.
Kick-start your weight loss by doing a 10 to 30 minute home workout. You will lose the baby weight steadily and you will be proud of your effort.
If you’re an outdoors type and you live in Africa, back your young child and go walking. If you’re in places where backing is not allowed like the UK then stick your kids in the buggy and go jogging down a smooth path. Sometimes I challenge myself and push the buggy up a steep hill with my 2 kids in it!
Extra tip: Regular exercise also helps increase moisture in your natural hair.
Tip 6: Cut and clean your nails every week
Do your nails once a month if you like acrylic nails or once a week if you like them natural. My quick and easy mani-pedi is:
- Trim and file my nails
- Apply a nail strengthener which also doubles up as a clear nail polish.
- Keep my hands well moisturised.
This little routine leaves my nails soft, glossy and very clean. My husband is a neat freak so clean, smooth hands and nails are very satisfying for him. I only add colour on special occasions
Tip 7: Dress sexy at home
When I was at university, I used to live with this girl who was by far the sexiest person I had ever met, from her silky shiny hair down to her simply manicured toes. Even at home, she was always attractive and her pyjamas consisted of short shorts, a silk spaghetti strap top and a silk kimono. It doesn’t take a lot of effort to be attractive even at home
Ditch the sweatpants and try to wear attractive clothes at home so you can at least be a sight for your partner’s sore eyes after a stressful day. Avoid wearing poofy pyjamas during the day (even when you’re not going anywhere) and at night try to wear silk and lace instead of poofy pyjamas.
Try to wear a bra for most of the day, I like to wear non wired bras when I’m at home as they’re comfortable and safe for breastfeeding, then when we go out, I step things up a notch. Opt for push up bras and lace bras that are designed to entice your spouse. If you’re a breastfeeding mum, wearing a bra reduces sagging and drooping breasts.
My husband doesn’t like thongs, did I mention he’s a clean freak? He gets put off by the thought of a string in between your butt crack all day, especially in Africa where you sweat all the time. But that doesn’t mean granny knickers are my only option. Try different sexy underwear like lace underwear.
That lavender oil in between your thighs is also your daily perfume alternative!
Tip 8: Trim your pubic hair
Shave, wax or trim your pubic hair. I trim with safety scissors once a week. I used to wax clean off and I also tried shaving for a while but I found it extremely uncomfortable not having any hair there, and when the hair starts to grow back, it itches like nuts! And then there was the problem of lumps of the ingrown hair to deal with.
Eventually, I settled on trimming to leave a little stubble down there, I don’t have any issues whatsoever and I’m very clean and tidy. This little tip will do absolute wonders for your relationship.
This also helps reduce bad vaginal odour as sweat can get trapped in the hair and begin to smell
Tip 9: Oral hygiene
Brush and floss your teeth twice a day for 2 minutes at a time, an electric toothbrish is much better than a manual one.
DIY mouthwash: Add 1 tsp baking soda to 1/4 cup warm water. Baking soda freshens breath, whitens teeth and strengthens gums!
Brushing your teeth and gurgling non-alcoholic mouthwash before bed keeps your mouth fresh for longer, when you wake up in the morning, your morning breath is decent enough for a morning kiss!
Keep mints and gum around the house and in your purse at all times. Having fresh breath is essential when living in such close proximity with someone you want to find you attractive forever and optimal hygiene is non-negotiable in our family.
Tip 10: Lastly, stay organised
If your husband is like mine then he hates tardy and lazy people. I have routines all over the place, I have a skincare routine, haircare routine, housecleaning schedule, dinner timetable, kids bedtime routine and many others.
Having said that, I’m not perfect, I grew up in a very relaxed household with no real direction so I’m only now just learning to be disciplined through all these routines I’m implementing in my own home. They’re very minimal and easy to follow
Thank you for reading this post!
